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It can be spread from one partner to another even when there are NO noticeable symptoms on the part of either partner.And, one of the greatest dichotomies is that the VERY thing, for me, that demonstrates my true love for a man is to have an intimate sexual relationship with him.I've given myself to very few men over the years, and one of these very few men (who happens to be married, but we are in an open relationship together with his wife's consent, we are essentially "friends with benefits"); well, he was someone that I've always believed cared for me. And what makes this whole situation even worse is that he TOLD me he had it and I didn't take any precautions to protect myself. I've even told my friends that "he didn't know he had it" because I can't even admit to myself that I didn't look out for myself the way I should have.He is someone I've always felt loved me enough to protect me and keep me safe. The thing I am struggling so deeply with is that I want to have a partner, a totally exclusive partner, not someone who is married and "allowed" to be with another woman.
Dear Colette, my question is a bit "heavy" and I hope you are willing to help me with it, because it is totally messing with my body, my heart, my head, with my confidence, with my ability to believe that it's possible for anyone to ever love me again, or ever want to risk being with me because of the physical and psychological impact.
I wish it weren't true, but I have contracted the virus for genital herpes.
But, now that I have this virus, and I am fully aware of the impact it has had on my body (I've had painful symptoms non-stop for months!
), my question is, how can I possibly put anyone that I love and care about in this position?
I have many reasons for engaging in this kind of relationship (a very long story) but believe me, it's not my long term choice.
I want an exclusive and totally loving relationship with a man who adores me and I him.