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s I see it, there should be no discussion of a relationship, or exclusivity, within the first three months of dating.
Those three months should be a drama and ultimatum-free zone. Just a period of savoring; the gritty, totally worth it hard work can come later. If something works between two people, then there is no rush.
Isn’t it funny the way we apply time frames to our lives?! So I was particularly intrigued to see a press release come into my inbox this morning from Getting uk – a gift giving site. I have friends who got pregnant by accident, months into a relationship, who are in the most stable, successful relationships I know. Just because you want to say ‘I love you’ after 3 months, but it takes him 12 doesn’t mean your relationship is bad. Remember your first meal in a shared home, and your first few hours as parents. And don’t worry too much about how slowly or quickly things happen. The magazine attracts a certain type of reader, and that’s something I identified with, long before I was offered a job at the multimedia group. But even if the order above makes sense to you, I think there’s an important lesson to be learned. Things happen at different times for different people, and there’s no such thing as a ‘right time’, because the ‘right time’ is different for different people. (For non-regular readers, I’m 31, and not married or a parent! And whilst there was some variance from city to city, the majority of the world gave similar answers. But perhaps that’s because I would consider myself a ‘Time Out-er’. In all honesty, as I read through the list, I couldn’t help thinking they were the kind of deadlines I would have drawn up as a teenager, when I still believed I would only ever have sex with men I was in love with. We look at our lives, and our expectations and try to set acceptable targets. How long should you wait to call yourself ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. 6 dates according to the world And boyfriend and girlfriend? To be honest, most of the Time Out results were figures I agreed with. I think 3 months is really quick to tell someone you love them … We asked them all about these expectations – how many dates does it take before you can have sex? (I personally always find that stat funny, as I slept with The Rugby Boy for the first time literally between our third and fourth dates. Proving the stat correct😉 ) How long before you become exclusive?
Earlier this year, I helped Time Out magazine survey over 11,000 people worldwide.