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I want to fuck her again and hang out, it feels good.” But then it started to feel REALLY good. We both suffered from anxiety, had abandonment issues, and thought the same way. I also tried to help her through any anxious thoughts she had, and get her to open up about herself. While I still go back and forth between my old beliefs and new, the point is I’m in a much more positive headspace when it comes to women because of this relationship, and I am eternally grateful for it.You will know what proper boundaries are, you don’t blame the other person for your feelings (and don’t accept blame either), you learn to connect and empathize, and more.My first experiences with women prior to my most recent relationship didn’t seem that great.
I had two girlfriends in high school that were suicidal, and a Mom who vented a lot of her issues to me.
These beliefs came to fall into place: Over the years, through therapy, and pure exposure this has all gotten A LOT better.
It seems that in society today, you aren’t cool unless you’re running around fucking 100 chicks or have an array of sexual conquests-going from guy to guy trying candles, BDSM, and toe licking (hey, whatever you’re into).
While I don’t think anyone would deny that men in general have a higher pressure put on them for the “more is better” mindset, it affects women as well. Unfortunately it is a numbers game – It takes time and a different number of people to find who is good for you and what constitutes “healthy”, just like finding a good job, a good city to live in and so on.
I mean, I actually started to go on dates with girls which was a huge improvement over rationalizing my desires for connection with the opposite sex away. While meeting in a bar randomly and going home together is a weird way to start a more serious relationship, that’s what happened. We were perfectly happy just lying next to each other.